Dealing with the facts

Six months ago if someone would have told me my life would be like this, I would have laughed really hard.  But alas life doesn't ever seem to end up how we want. It's hard to get up in the morning, I constantly hit the snooze button wondering what's the point? Really?

It's easy to look at the facts and get depressed.  The news is constantly talking about how bad the job market is getting, even worse than before. Bills keep coming in and I haven't had a deposit in my account in a month. Looking at my savings as it shrinks, I think about applying for food stamps, anything to help right? And as I apply for jobs and get nothing back, call and leave voicemails and never receive a word it's easy to get mad at the world.  I've started to get jealous of my friends and family who have a job and don't worry about losing their home, or wonder how they will feed their cat (his name is Bubba and basically the joy in my life).

Dealing with these facts sucks because it's so hard to remain positive.  How do we go on with life when everything seems so bleak? I should probably tell you my life is a little bit harder than being unemployed, I also was engaged this past year and it was broken off in April, despite my best efforts to salvage the love that once way.  I don't have the man I love, and I don't have the job I loved.

Anti depressants seem like putting spit on a wound and expecting it to heal....it doesn't work but the effort makes you feel better. Actually that was really gross I've never spit on a wound but you get the picture I'm trying to paint right? hahahaha

I have hope though.  I have faith.  God's provided me with the wisdom to save enough money to get me by for a few months, he's provided me friends that constantly uplift me and bring me joy. I am beyond blessed, despite everything. I want to share how blessed I am with others.  My life could be so much worse.

I've lost everything besides my house and we all know it's only a matter of months before the banks gonna have to take that back, but it's ok because of my hope. 

I want everyone to have the hope I have. I want everyone to know that people are out there wanting to help them even if it seems like there is nothing to live for. I want life to begin each day, like new. Now when I get up in the morning I wonder how I can spread hope, and maybe by spreading hope I'll replenish mine. =)

I challenge everyone who reads this to look for ways to give. I have nothing but time, therefore time is what I will give. I look to God to figure out my next move and he provides me inspiration and peace...

I babysat my friends 6month old. She is a single mom who loves life and her son more than anything in the world.  She doesn't have money for daycare, lives off of wic, and works a job that barely puts a roof over their head. But she is the best friend a person can ask for, she's always uplifting me with Gods word and helping me remember his love.  So when her family couldn't watch the baby, and she couldn't afford to take time off work or pay for daycare I watched him.

He was a joy, even though he had poop problems that day (ok do babies always go thru 10 diapers in 8 hours?) I was so grateful to provide for her something. She was my inspiration for this, if I can help her who else can I help?

Tomorrow I'm going to clean a single mom of threes house. I don't know how you single parents do it. Three kids under 5...holy crap that's just insane! Stay tuned tomorrow while I recap the story of Danielle and me cleaning toilets. =)